Q: Dear Dr. Mao,
Many articles and books mention that in order to live long, it’s best to have a happy sexual and emotional life with someone. I am in my mid-life years and have never had a serious relationship. Nothing helps to take away the frustration of having no one to share intimacy and tenderness with. What can I do?
A: I would like to share an old Taoist wisdom, which might give you a different perspective. To want something is to create the expectation of having that thing. This expectation creates the setting for failure, which engenders more want, more expectations, and even more failure. My grandfather told me once that if I wanted to achieve something, I should not desire that thing. Perhaps you may try this in your life. Do things for your own enjoyment and not to impress or attract others. Be yourself and do not expect to be loved. The universe loves you already, it is all around you and we are all interconnected with threads of love and caring that most of us are not even aware of.